I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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