dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you never un-have a 4some
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
