So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Sorry about my life...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
