Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
