Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm at about main and main street
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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