For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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