His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
