I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
