the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
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Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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