Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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