i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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