Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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