Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
