This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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