you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
