I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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