Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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