Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
