I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
