Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
only if we run a train.
done.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
