I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
