I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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