wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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