Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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