I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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