I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
