Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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