There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
