I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
