guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
