Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you made out with another girl for some wings
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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