Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
