just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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