I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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