2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
