I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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