It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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