the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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