these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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