Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
