U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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