cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
