I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
