Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize