Please, let me fuck your mom
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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