Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
