This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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