Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
