Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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