dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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